HOW TO KEEP YOUR PARTNER FOR LIFE
One of the famous questions people ask at the beginning of a friendship or relationship is one's likes and dislikes. On one hand they want to know some of the things they do which will make the man or woman they are interested in like them more or fall in love with them. And on the other hand, they want to know the very things they don't like so they won't do it and risk the chance of losing them.
So, people practice these likes just to win their heart. And once they succeed in getting into the relationship or winning the heart and affection of the partner, such a list is thrown into the dustbin. Even when the partner complains of changes in the relationship the answer most give is, you can't always have it as you had in the beginning. Others tell their partner you cannot always have your way.
Many relationships end on a sad note because one complains the other partner always wants to have their way, whilst some say, they have fallen out of love with their partner. Some say they have completely changed.
Struggling relationships and marriages can work or survive if couples are serious at making it work. One place to begin is to explore each other’s likes and dislikes.
The likes mean "what are the very things I do that makes you draw closer to me?" That makes you like me? That makes you love me. What makes you feel like we have a relationship." It's two different people in a relationship and opposite in lots of things so don't expect your partner to say what you like. Your views might be different from theirs but it doesn't make yours or theirs invalid.
The dislikes simply mean what are the very things that drive me away from you? What are the behaviour, actions or gestures that push you away from me? What are the things that I have been doing which make you fall out of love with me or make you feel the relationship has no future?
In Relationships or marriages that struggle, spouses have more dislikes than likes. As far as you identify your partner still has one or two things you do which they like, that draws you closer to them, it means those things are what is keeping your present relationship going. Do more of that and work on the dislikes. Reduce dislikes as much as you can. It helps to save your relationship.
The singles looking for love on valentine or this year or wanting to get married, keep in mind that it is not enough to win the heart or attention of someone in the name of marriage or relationship. If you don't have what it takes to maintain the relationship, it is better you don't get involved in the first place, else you will end up hurting someone dearly in the name of love.
Don't just ask about their likes without asking of dislikes. Remember the dislikes require more work than likes. Again, it is difficult working on the dislikes than likes. So be true to yourself from the get go. If you can't work on dislikes, you better not start a relationship with them.
It's always a healthy practice to periodically discuss your likes and dislikes in the relationship, it helps to identify your shortfalls or what you are doing right. Dislikes are things we hate or don’t like and because of that one becomes uncomfortable talking about it. However when we gather the courage to work on them, its not just our relationship that becomes better; we become beautiful as well. It is like removing what makes you ugly, what steals your beauty.
In conclusion, "Wisdom brings strength, and knowledge gives power" - Proverbs 24:5 (CEV).
Please share it with your friends. Someone out there needs this.
© Frank Ed
